I mentioned on Twitter the other day that one of the main reasons I haven’t been posting here much is because I have to be vague about some of the most important things going on in my life right now. I hate being vague. I’m a straightforward person, and being vague sucks.
What I can say is that life has been a roller coaster of emotions over the past four months. Every day I feel different. There are days I feel scared and fear for my safety. There are days when I know I’m doing the right thing, that maybe it’s my destiny to be doing what I’m doing, the thing no one else has done. Some days I feel strong, some days I feel weak and some days my anxiety is way through the roof. I’ve never been so aware of every noise in my neighborhood — doors slamming, cars driving by, dogs barking.
At a recent Jaycees event, our outgoing president was presented with a serving tray with a saying on it that read something to the effect of, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” That message really resonated with me. I feel like it’s a lesson someone has been trying to teach me over and over again. I’m always going to have battles in my life — big, scary ones and smaller, more manageable ones — but I have to continue trying to live my life while fighting those battles. I can’t get tunnel vision, focusing just on the battle and forgetting everything else around me.
So I’m still living my life, one day at a time, and it’s a pretty good life, all things considered. My most recent crowning achievement was winning Crystal Lake Jaycees Rookie of the Year for 2011. It meant a lot to me to be recognized for the volunteer work I’ve done over the past year, and the cash award didn’t hurt either.
Christmas was really nice, too. We spent Christmas Eve with some really dear friends, and the actual holiday was spent with my in-laws. Brian bought me a new guitar (!) and a Kindle, which I can’t seem to get enough of. Thank god our local library lends e-books, or my wallet would be in trouble.
Before I close, I’ve got something very important coming up on Friday morning and I could really use your strong thoughts and prayers between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. that day.
Happy New Year to you all!















