Gobble Gobble

I feel like I haven’t been very good at writing paragraphs lately, but honestly? Does anyone really want to read an 84-graf recap of the last five days of my life?

I didn’t think so.

Instead, I give you this list of things I accomplished over my Thanksgiving vacation:

• Lounged in bed Wednesday morning, then dicked around on the Internet while avoiding all the shit I needed to get done before driving to Wisconsin
• Took a shower, cleaned up the kitchen, changed a filter on the koi tank, had breakfast, packed my clothes and finally got on the road
• Got stuck behind some hideous drivers — both on the way there and the way back — who made the drive seem even longer. Thankfully I was driving the Explorer, which has a functional radio (unlike my Nissan).
• Spent Wednesday night and all of Thursday with my hilarious, incredibly cute niece and nephews
• Got my period for the second time this month. Yeah, I have no idea either.
• Ate my weight in stuffing
• Became incredibly sleep deprived while attempting to rest in a house containing a teething 6-month-old
• Treated myself to a lot of vodka Friday afternoon/evening after the kiddies had left
• Woke up early Saturday morning to the feeling of vodka sloshing around in my tummy
• Won $41 off the penny slot machine (!)
• Laughed at my sloshed MIL
• Played a pretty damn good game of Golden Tee for a guy who was too drunk to do so himself
• Got into a political conversation with a very large, very intoxicated truck driver
• Talked to my husband WHO COMES HOME IN 12 DAYS
• Found out Tiger had been in a car accident; made jokes about him
• Cursed People magazine for pointing out that Jon Hamm’s facial features look an awful lot like Fabio’s facial features (and not the cute Fabio from Top Chef, either)
• Cleaned the downstairs bathroom within an inch of its life
• Found places to put the remaining Christmas decorations
• Ordered gifts for my mom and Brian and saved about $60 in shipping thanks to online promo codes (take THAT, Black Friday!)
• Typed up address labels for my Christmas photo cards that should be arriving this week
• Ordered a chair for our home office to replace the incredibly uncomfortable folding chair we’ve been using since April 2008
• Watched about half of Brodre before I fell asleep; it’s really good so far, plus I wanted to see it before I see Brothers, the new Tobey Maguire film based on Brodre

How was your Thanksgiving? How did you spend your time?

Bloggy Thanks

It’s hard to believe Thanksgiving is only two days away. For the very first time in my life, the holiday completely snuck up on me. It seems like just yesterday I was watching Fourth of July fireworks from the boat, bitching about how summer felt more like early spring and smooching my husband goodbye before a bunch of clowns took him hostage for three months.

There are a lot of things I’m thankful for in my life — family, friends, Brian, my job and my health, to name just a few. One thing I am also grateful for, that I never really mention that much, is the blogging community. In the roughly two years I’ve been blogging, I’ve come to know some wonderful people. Some of you I know through comments and e-mails back and forth. Some of you I knew before we both started blogging. Some of you I don’t really know at all, but your words have made a lasting impression on me.

I would like to give thanks for the Chicagoland bloggers who write about the place I call home and keep me abreast of what’s happening in the city proper now that I’ve become suburban. Thank you, Hixx (who also blogs here), Jessica and Nic!

I would like to give thanks to Erin, who is not only a Chicagolander (and a great lunch date!), but an inspiration to me to keep running. It’s amazing what all of us can accomplish when we put our minds to it and have the support of others.

I would like to give thanks to those awesome boy bloggers, Oma, shoutabyss, Kevin and The Acorn King.

I would like to give thanks to Hannah and Hilly, whose snark I appreciate, but who also see the light and brightness in the world and in themselves.

I would like to give thanks to La Cochran for always giving me questions to ponder.

I would like to give thanks to Ashley and Kyla, two of the nicest, sweetest, funniest girls around.

I would like to give thanks to Gives Me Hope for giving me hope (and maybe making me cry a teensy weensy bit).

I would like to give thanks to some famous bloggers who make me snort (in the best way possible!) on a regular basis.

I would like to give thanks to Tia for writing one of the first blogs I read regularly. She is hilarious and a great writer to boot, even if we don’t agree on all things RPattz.

I would like to give thanks to Genevieve Clare for pointing out the humor in everyday life, several times a day.

I would like to give thanks to mental_floss for creating super fun quizzes and catering to my nerdiness.

I would like to give thanks to Overheard in the Newsroom for consistently reminding me why I no longer work in a newsroom.

I would like to give thanks to People of Walmart for making me feel better about myself.

I would like to give thanks to my pop culture peeps at The A.V. Club for writing excellent episode reviews of Lost. Can’t wait for February!

I would like to give thanks to The Oatmeal for hating on Twilight, discussing one of my pet (many) peeves — the crappy handshake — and just generally kicking ass and taking names.  

And finally (you may be last, but CERTAINLY not least), I would like to give thanks to all the great foodie bloggers out there. There are too many to list here, but I appreciate the hell out of 101 Cookbooks, Blue Kitchen, The Amateur Gourmet, Happy Herbivore, Orangette, Joy the Baker, Food Loves Writing and smitten kitchen.  

I’ll be heading to Wisconsin tomorrow so, to all of you reading this, I hope you have the best Thanksgiving yet! Or, to those of you not living in the States, the best Thursday of all time.

Lessons I Learned from My Husband

Don’t flush popsicle sticks down the toilet. It never leads to anything good.

Real men like The Bridges of Madison County and aren’t afraid to admit it.

Life is more fun when it’s not planned to the hilt. Give yourself some leeway to smell the roses and expect the unexpected.

Always pay your debts in a timely fashion. They will come back to bite you at the worst possible times … like when you’re trying to get that mortgage approved.

Obey posted speed limits, especially when you drive a bright yellow crotch rocket.

A long road trip involving lots of tent camping is quite possibly the most fun two people can have together.

Try every new thing you have the opportunity to try. This includes food, even if it kind of freaks you out.

It’s way easier to be nice than bitchy.

Don’t be so quick to judge people. Give them the benefit of the doubt. But don’t let them jerk you around either.

Do what you love.

Be honest with the people you care about. Say what you feel. It is the best way to maintain the integrity of your relationships.

Don’t wait until the last minute to do everything.

It’s way better to be on time than 20 minutes early or 20 minutes late.

You don’t have to wear a lot of makeup to look pretty. In fact, you often look better without it.

It’s OK to tell someone they have bad breath if it’s done with love. Same goes for that piece of spinach stuck in their teeth.

Vegetables are good for you.

Hugs, kisses and spooning are the best inventions ever.

The less you try to control the person you are with, the better your relationship will be.

Turns out, the person with the most stuff at the end of their life doesn’t win. They’re just dead. Don’t focus so much on the material junk.

Andrew Zimmern is a pretty gross guy.  

Some of the best food available comes from the sketchiest-looking restaurants.

Don’t forget how to be childlike. Remind yourself by hanging out with kids as much as possible.

What lessons have you learned from your spouse or SO?

Money, So They Say …

Money is one of those things I think about quite often. It’s pretty much unavoidable since it affects just about every area of my life. And truthfully, I’m pretty good with the stuff. I put a little bit into both a savings and a Roth IRA every month. I pay all our bills on time. I don’t have any credit card debt. Et cetera.

But I really, really, really, really, really hate the stuff. I don’t believe it’s the root of all evil, as the cliche goes, but I believe it’s the root of a lot of evil given the right situation.

In my personal life, I’ve never cared about having a lot of money. Sure, it would probably have its advantages, but so long as I have enough to keep a roof over my head, food on my table and the cable and Internet turned on, I’m OK with that. I don’t make a lot working in magazine publishing. The first few years that Brian and I dated, he had given up a lucrative career to do what he loved, so he wasn’t pulling in much. No matter what our salaries have been, we’ve always loved each other just the same.

My main issue with money is that certain people use it as a control mechanism. They give you money as a gift. Or maybe one of your parents pays for your schooling. Or they buy you a car. Or they cover the cost of something else that you can’t afford. And then they spend the rest of their natural lives throwing their “generosity” back in your face. How nice they were. How they could have done something else with the money, but didn’t because they are so awesome.

Since I was very young, I have shied away from asking for anything — money or other assistance — because I absolutely loathe being indebted to anyone for any reason. I hate the feeling of believing life is going along fine and dandy and then, out of nowhere, you have a chat with someone who once gave you something and they make you feel like a total piece of shit. That feeling is multiplied by 1,000 when it’s family, someone who probably does really love you, but would rather assert their imagined control over you at that moment instead.

I’m definitely bitter and jaded about this kind of thing, but I also know there are people out there who don’t conduct themselves like that. Thank goodness. What they do, what I wish and hope everyone would learn to do, is give because they want to, because they can, with no strings attached. Give because it makes you happy. Give because it will undoubtedly help out the person or people you’re giving to. And then move the fuck on.

You Aught to Read this TV List

First A.V. Club did it. Then my friend Kevin did it. I want to be one of the cool pop culture kids, too, so now I’m doing it. These are my top 20 favorite shows of the decade (some started in the ’90s, but carried on into the ’00s, so that counts with me) in no particular order. It was a bit of a struggle coming up with this list — there were shows I had to leave out even though I really love them (are you listening, Dollhouse, The Closer and Alias?), shows I’ve never even seen (that’s you, Arrested Development, Flight of the Conchords and The Shield) and some I’m sure are fantastic even though I could never get into them (sorry, The Wire and The Sopranos). But, for better or for worse, this is what I came up with …

1. Six Feet Under

2. Weeds

3. Ugly Betty

4. Lost

5. Gossip Girl

6. Mad Men

7. Big Love

8. Top Chef

9. Freaks and Geeks

10. Desperate Housewives

11. That ’70s Show

12. Brothers & Sisters

13. Sex and the City

14. Saving Grace

15. True Blood

16. Project Runway

17. Fringe

18. Friends

19. Greek

20. Survivor

Current November Status

(This idea blatantly stolen from France, FTW!)

Current Books: Can I tell you a secret? It takes me forever to read a book. I always have several going at one time and it can take me years (hello, The Fountainhead) to finish one. Right now I’m in the middle of Dead Until Dark, The Man Who Fell in Love with the Moon and A Homemade Life.

Current Playlist: I’m always adding to my beats playlist and recently started compiling a Christmas playlist. Recent iTunes purchase include ’Till I Collapse (Eminem), Forever (Drake), Replay (Iyaz), Go Tell It On the Mountain (Jim Nabors) and Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree (Brenda Lee). Yes, I’m kind of a Top 40 whore.

Current Guilty Pleasure: Hershey’s Kisses at work. I don’t usually eat sweets at the office, but my boss bought me a bag and I can’t say no to Hershey’s chocolate.

Current Color: Black. When in doubt, I always go for black. Or green (but not dark green).

Current Drink: Water, Mountain Dew (I allow myself one can a day during the week) and this fantastic raspberry pomegranate juice I found last week at the grocery store. SO good.

Current Food: I’ve been eating a lot of pasta e ceci over the past 10 days. I’m also obsessed with Snyder’s of Hanover Sourdough Nibblers.

Current Favorite Show: I can never pick a favorite. Also, please don’t judge me based on my fascination with “reality” stars. That said, these days I always tune in to Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, The Real Housewives of Orange County, The Hills, Fringe, Ugly Betty, Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.

Current Wishlist: A car made in this decade. King-size flannel sheets. A bed frame. T-shirts from mental_floss.

Current Needs: Nada

Current Triumphs: Taking care of the car situation by myself without hyperventilating. Actually, taking care of just about everything by myself  since September 14.

Current Bane Of My Existence: Brian being away. I’m sure you’re all sick of hearing about it, but it’s true.

Current Celebrity Crush: Ed Westwick, Mark Ruffalo, Joshua Jackson … and mayyyyyyybe Justin Bobby. That guy is a total dbag, but way easy on the eyes.

Current Indulgence:  Is this different than my current guilty pleasure? OK, pizza rolls and ice cream. I’m trying to clear out all the bad (read: unhealthy) crap from my freezer … by eating it.

Current Blessing: My whole life is a blessing. Love, work, food on the table and a roof over my head.

Current Slang: A compendium of words and phrases I’ve picked up over the years. Examples include “super pissed with cheese” and “your mom.”

Current Outfit: Black North Face fleece jacket, magenta V-neck sweater, jeans, Montrail hiking boots

Flooded

There’s good news and there’s bad news.

The good news is my little car isn’t super broken. Its engine was flooded, but after a little TLC from the guys at the shop (which is actually named The Shop), my baby started right up. I’m also getting a tuneup today. This makes me feel a little more comfortable as winter approaches.

The bad news is that this shit is EXPENSIVE. About $500 with my piddly 5 percent AAA discount. Pretty soon Brian and I are going to have to discuss whether the car is worth the money we dump into it. Also, labor at The Shop is $160 per hour. I did a little Internet research and, sadly, that doesn’t seem too outlandish. I have to ask, though — the last time you had car repairs done, was the hourly rate so high? I remember the rate being around $80 per hour in Connecticut back in the late ’90s, but I have no idea what it was like here in Chicagoland.

Mostly, though, I’m OK with paying the bill. The Shop is the only AAA-approved auto repair facility in town, the cost of towing (done by the towing place next door to The Shop … how convenient for all parties ) is included in the bill, the repair work is guaranteed for 12 months and the employees couldn’t be more pleasant to work with. I guess, so long as I have the money, I’m OK spending it at a shop that seems to have its stuff together.

What’s a bit unnerving, though, is that the peeps at The Shop aren’t entirely sure what caused my engine to flood. In my quest to figure things out, I took to Google. The day before my car wouldn’t start, I started it briefly to back it into the driveway. I put air in the tires, started the car again, drove it back into the garage and shut it off. It lurched on me a little right as I shut it off. From what I can gather from Internet articles, sometimes (in older vehicles) if you start the car briefly when it hasn’t been warmed up, then shut it off very soon afterward, the engine can flood.

Folks, that’s all I got.

Please keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed that nothing else happens before Brian gets home next month. Because people? This shit is slightly stressful to the girl with the massive driving anxiety.

A Little Bit of This …

This weekend I:

• Continued to watch the first season of Lost. I’m starting from the beginning again to prep for the season premiere in January. I can’t believe the journey is almost over, but at the same time, I’m so excited I might very well pee myself. Also? I’m completely spooked by the main menu on Season 1/Disc 1. Jack moving around all weird, that eerie music and me laying in bed in a dark room by myself do not jibe.
• Went to the gym. Twice. This is is quite the accomplishment since the last time I went was in October … at least a week before I left for Disney. No wonder my muscles are threatening to curl up and die today.
• Met Erin for lunch at Chez Pierre’s Creperie. It was the first time I’d ever met a blogger in real life and the great food totally complemented the experience. Yay!
• Decided I didn’t have enough pasta e ceci last week and made another batch. I also made some baked tortilla strips (yum) and some roasted garlic (which I let roast a little too long … not so yum).
• Became further obsessed with Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew. Honestly, if there is a completely vapid reality show out there, I will find it and like it. Perhaps I need rehab. I have learned things from the show, though. For instance, I have never had the displeasure of meeting anyone as toxic as Kari Ann in real  life.
• Slept. A lot. The only upside to depression I have ever found is my ability to sleep through it all. You have no idea how thankful I am that I haven’t been hit with insomnia.
• Finally got my broken car towed to the shop after realizing that, although he said he would, my mechanic neighbor is not going to come over to take a look at it (at least not anytime soon). Time to stop depending on other people and take care of it myself.

How was your weekend?

It’s Already in the Bucket

You guys have seen my bucket list, yes? If not, you should go here.

Apparently, there are also non-bucket bucket lists. I found this out while reading this post from Princess Buttercream. Instead of listing stuff you want to do before you die, you list stuff you’ve already done that you thought was cool or that really meant something to you. Or both. So now, I present my non-bucket bucket list.

• I was my school spelling bee champion in fifth and sixth grades (the only two years my school held spelling bees).
• I took a college field trip to New York when I was a freshman. Three other people (including my dear friend Patty) and I were accidentally left there by the school in 19-degree weather. All of us managed to make it back after a rousing game of Planes, Trains and Automobiles (minus the planes).
• I’ve gotten two tattoos. One is the obligatory tramp stamp on my lower back. The other, which I adore, is on my right bicep/shoulder — a fairy sitting on a large mushroom cap.
• Many years ago I had my picture taken with Questlove from The Roots. He is so tall that my friend Randy chopped off part of my chin and part of Questlove’s afro to get us both in the picture.
• I’ve seen more live shows than I can even remember. Highlights include Etta James, Redman/Method Man, Luscious Jackson, Notorious B.I.G., Outkast, Cypress Hill, LL Cool J, The Black Crowes, Steely Dan, Allman Brothers, India.Arie and the Indigo Girls.
• I’ve kissed girls and liked it. I don’t think it was the cherry Chapstick.
• I’ve had my heart smashed to bits, then put back together again by the man I love more than any person on this planet.
• I’ve felt my urine vibrate.
• As of today, I’ve been to 37 of the 50 states.
• I’ve watched the sun set from a beachfront hotel room in the Costa del Sol.
• I got married at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Vegas.  
• I’ve been snorkeling in the Keys, Grand Cayman, Belize and Cozumel.
• I watched my mom’s friend get hit on by a hooker in Canada.
• I have made wonderful friends, several of whom I’ve known for more than half my life.
• I’ve overcome my aversion to removing hooks from the fish I catch, thus making Brian’s fishing experiences much more enjoyable.
• I swam in the Atlantic, Pacific, Caribbean and Mediterranean.
• There are many more national parks to visit, but I’ve hit some extraordinary ones — Zion, Bryce, Grand Canyon, Sequoia, Kings Canyon and the Smoky Mountains.
• I’ve gone from being so out of shape that I could hardly breathe when physically exerting myself, to being able to run, bike and lift weights in the same day.
• I’ve been ziplining in the jungle.
• I swam with stingrays.
• I’ve taught myself to be a pretty fucking good cook and baker.
• I was fortunate enough to work at an aquarium for several years, giving me lots of quality time with belugas, bottlenose dolphins, African penguins, Steller sea lions and many other beautiful sea creatures.
• I moved halfway across the country all by my lonesome and managed to build a life here for myself, complete with an amazing husband and a truly extraordinary extended family.  
• I’ve become an auntie to three nephews and two nieces.
• I’ve been a writer and editor for newspapers and magazines both locally and nationally.
• I’ve avoided the groupie mentality, realizing very quickly that most musicians, at their core, are glorified band geeks.

What achievements would be in your non-bucket bucket list?

Strokes