I do my best writing (IMO) when I’m angry or annoyed or frustrated. Something snaps inside me and my gut instinct is to (a) rant to my husband and then (b) piss and moan about it using my keyboard and mouse.
Yesterday something happened that totally infuriated me. It was something small, but I felt taken advantage of. I wrote a short, ranty blog post about it. A little while after I’d saved the draft, I wondered why I don’t (or can’t … I’m still figuring this out) write as passionately about the good things in life, the things that make me happy and put a smile on my face. Certainly, I am passionate in real life about certain things — Brian, food and TV are right up there — but nothing gets the writing guns blazing like a good old personal injustice.
Maybe it’s time for me to take a step back and look at the underlying cause of this. It’s funny, some people think I’m a natural redhead and comment how my personality matches my hair color. (I wonder what they’d say if they knew I was really a brunette.) But why am I like this? Why do I tend to latch on to the negative things that happen in my life — and life in general — instead of focusing my energy on the incredibly wonderful things in my life? It is so messed up.
Going forward, I’d like to be more positive, on this blog and in real life. It’s a constant struggle, something I’ve dealt with most of my life, but I think I’m getting better at it … slowly. Very slowly. Truthfully, positivity doesn’t lend itself as well to sarcasm and humor, but I think I could give up a little bit of the funny to feel better about myself and my little place in the world.
7 responses so far ↓
lacochran // November 5, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Is it wrong that I am irritated that nobody has irritated me lately?
(Feeling the NaBloPoMo pressure!)
Not at all!
(Wait, was the right answer given that I just wrote about how I was going to work on increased positivity in the future?? Damn!)
Erin // November 5, 2009 at 4:36 pm
My husband got so mad at me earlier this week because I was bitching about the fact that our house is a disaster while we get insulation put in. He just didn’t understand why I couldn’t see that the irritation is short term but the insulation will save us money in the long term. I guess he’s right; I need to start seeing the positive side of things more.
That kind of situation is tough. It would drive me nuts, too. Hopefully you will be really pleased with the outcome!
XUP // November 5, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Ya, I was going to say – a happy, positive blog sounds a little dull. There’s really nothing better than a good rant for blog reading in my opinion. Maybe you could save the Pollyanna thing for your real life and let loose your dark side in the blog?
I’ll take that into consideration.
Jessica // November 5, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I think it’s natural to obsess or focus on negative things in your life sometimes more than the positive. It happens to everyone. But you know that you’re doing it and want to change, that’s the most important thing.
Thanks for the support!
Nova // November 5, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Because its human nature!!
If you dress to kill one day and receive a thousand compliments from all, by the end of the day, u wont even remember who said what nice things about you… you may remember the ones you found the most genuine or flattering… but in general, u will find it difficult to remember every word said in your praise. But, if someone criticizes you on your face, you will remember every word, in vivid detail! It is sad, but we always notice the wrong things in life, thus ignoring the good ones. Realization of this, in itself, is an important step!
And I will especially remember how the bad things made me feel! Ugh, that’s the worst.
hannah78 // November 6, 2009 at 8:51 am
“It’s funny, some people think I’m a natural redhead and comment how my personality matches my hair color.”
Ha! Me too! The red in my hair is so subtle (ie. Practically nonexistant) that I have to dye it in order to bring it out. I feel it suits me more than light brown.
Anyways, don’t feel bad about complaining on your blog. It’s important to let it out, particularly when you feel like you’re being taken advantage of and need support. I and probably others read your blog to get a glimpse of your life-Good and bad, ups and downs.
Well, it’s nice to know that people want to read about my life even when I’m being all Negative Nancy about it.
Noelle // November 6, 2009 at 10:00 am
I think you can be sarcastic and positive at the same time! That’s always my goal, anyway. I’m positively sarcastic.
Hope things pick up!
Thanks, lady!