One of the things I don’t like about my personality is my tendency to obsess. I don’t obsess over anything good — instead, I obsess about things like my husband dying, and how will I pay the mortgage, and who will mow the lawn, and how will I know when to change the furnace filter, and will I kill his fish if he’s dead in the ground and OHMYGODWHATISMYPROBLEM?
Yeah. It’s super. And these days we’ve got this issue looming over our heads, one that is really annoying and a complete pain in the ass and, oh, did I mention one we have no control over? Yeah. Also super. And so, per usual, I have been obsessing like nobody’s business. If ever there were a time to get back on anti-anxiety meds, this would be it.
But today I decided. FUCK IT. There’s not going to be any resolution to the problem I referred to above for at least a few months. In the meantime, I can either work feverishly to give myself more stress-induced headaches and even higher blood pressure — and let’s not forget a heaping helping of insomnia — or I can enjoy the Christmas season. Because folks, I love the Christmas season!
So while I might not be putting up all the decorations this year (um, I’m lazy and Brian works like a fiend in December), I’m going to enjoy the hell out of everything I love about December. I’ll be singing along with Bing and Kenny and Dolly. I’ll be laughing at Kevin McCallister and watching Yogi celebrate his very first Christmas (for about the 25th time). I might even give in and try to like “It’s a Wonderful Life” for once. I’ll be hunting down the Christmas episodes of “Friends” and “Who’s the Boss?” I will drink eggnog and get excited about Christmas cards that arrive in the mail and eat 20 pounds of fudge and try to find the perfect hiding place for Brian’s presents. I’ll sit on the floor in my home office and wrap gifts while listening to the Rockin’ Holidays Radio station on Pandora.
Most of all, I’ll reflect on the year that’s almost come to a close. It was another tough one in some aspects, but so rewarding in others. This year taught me that just when I am about to lose my faith in humanity, the universe has a way of showing up to prove to me how many beautiful people really inhabit the earth. I have beautiful neighbors and beautiful friends and beautiful people I call my family. I have been working on a project through the Jaycees called Share-A-Christmas, and it is positively mind-blowing and humbling how many community members have pitched in to adopt families in need and make donations. We’ve been dealing with a crap economy for a while, and it’s made my heart grow three sizes bigger — and then some — to see how much people will give of themselves in a harsh, uncertain climate.
Happy holidays, everyone! I hope you find love, peace and beauty this season.
At first, I thought after “FUCK IT” was going to be, “I’m going on Xanax.” lol!
I think you’d like “Christmas in Hollis” on Pandora. It’s Ollie and my fave!
This has been a year of ups and downs, man. I’m so looking forward to the holidays and ringing in 2012. I think 2012 is going to be a year of more ups. Here’s hoping.
Ha! The thought has crossed my mind.
You and Ollz have good taste — I love “Christmas in Hollis”!
Fingers crossed for 2012!
Great attitude! Love the holiday season, don’t make it harder than it needs to be
Your post reminds me of one of my friends. The other day she said, “I need to find the joy in the season”. She loves baking and baked Christmas cookies like a mad woman and delivered them to her friends. She said that made her happy.
Stressing out during the holidays is not fun and I’m working on “finding the joy in the season.”
Merry Christmas!
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